TEMA: TULL & TØYS

[kjelvi]

Dessverre ikke Old Trafford.



Hele bildeserien her: http://fishki.net/comment.php?id=17687

[kjelvi]

Noen av de beste fotballprestasjonene gjennom tidene.
Dette er god underholdning selv om det dessverre ikke er et fnugg av Leeds-bilder her!
[King Eddie's mål mot Burnley borte ha vært her]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcGKgi4h7CA

[kjelvi]

Tidenes Leeds-klassiker!



Eddie Gray v Burnley
2nd Goal
4th May 1970

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkd3HWQu32Q

[kjelvi]

Johnny's History Of...Football Kit



At first, football strips didn't exist. No, they didn't play naked, but players sported jaunty-coloured caps. Then in the 1870s, clubs started wearing coloured shirts and delightful knickerbockers in colours associated with their founders' roots. Reading sported a lovely salmon pink and pale blue outfit; Wanderers wore an eye-watering pink, black and cerise outfit. Suits you sir.
However, the psychedelic miasma of colours made it hard for players, fans and officials to distinguish one side from another in the foggy grey sleet of a late Victorian January afternoon. So shirts became plainer, simpler and of contrasting primary colours.
Players were not allowed to expose their knees until the turn of the 20th century. The sight of knees was a dangerous thing that might destroy society in an orgy of lust and immorality. As opposed to delicious, still legal, opium.
But in 1901 caution was thrown to the wind and the knickerbockers were hoisted further up, eventually becoming, admittedly very long shorts. These were always white, black or navy. Socks were always in dark colours. It was the 1950s before anyone was secure enough in their manhood to wear pale sock colours.
The shirts were a collar-less granddad style with laces up the front. Before the Great War all the girly cerise and salmon colours fell out of favour because it looked unmanly to the increasingly massive crowds of moustachioed and thoroughly butch factory and mine workers who were hyper-sensitive to any suggestion of homosexuality in their midst.
In the 30s, the lace-up was replaced with a rugby shirt style collar with a button. It was first worn at Arsenal. Their boss, Herbert Chapman, also shocked the football world by introducing the contrast body/sleeves shirt. It was as modern as Picasso.
Just before the war, shirts started appearing with numbers on the back. This was another Herbert Chapman invention.
The first man-made fibre shirt was worn by Bolton for the 1953 cup final. It was the kind of shiny acrylic satin that gives off static electricity and makes balloons stick to walls.
As those dastardly foreigners from places like Hungary and Germany started to win everything, the style of shirts was very influenced by continental fashions. Shorts were cut to be closer-fitting and look less like a tarpaulin flapping around your legs. Some clubs such as Manchester United went for a V-neck shirt. Oooh, you do look gorgeous Duncan.
By the time the Beatles were rocking the Cavern, the kit industry had changed again. Shorts were actually short and had numbers on.
Shirts got plainer and simpler with crew necks. Coventry were the first club to play in a single colour shirt, shorts, socks and jockstrap. No-one had thought to do this in any colour except white, until Jimmy Hill dropped acid with The Beatles and Dylan. As soon as Coventry had done this, other clubs like Liverpool and Chelsea thought it looked lovely and copied the single colour look. The copycat bitches!
Tommy Docherty had Villa's strip redesigned in 1969 with a groovy new v-neck insert collar which became all the rage in the 70s.
In the early 70s Crystal Palace brought out a brilliant shirt; white with a diagonal red and blue stripe from shoulder to hip. It appeared to be based on the cover of Aladdin Sane. Cambridge United's away strip was inspired by the cover of Yes's Tales From Topographic Oceans.



In 1975 Don Revie did a deal with Admiral to produce a Leeds kit with the club badge so that fans could show their support for the club by buying it. The 'official' club shirt was born and evil entered the world.
This was a radical new idea, but it didn't go down well with everyone. Previously you just bought a generic shirt off the market in the colours of your club for a fiver. An 'official' strip was an alien concept. What did it mean?
Many thought it was just a rip-off. How can thing like a shirt be 'official' and therefore worth three times the money? When Man United brought out a new Admiral strip in 1975 it cost £15. This was at least 25% of the average weekly wage - today a typical shirt is around 5%. Surely it wasn't an exploitative, money-making exercise to fleece the working class of their hard-earned wonga?
To inflate the value of the replica shirts, clubs started putting the club crest on and later, in the 90s, registered them as trademarks, thus giving lots of work to expensive, anally-retentive copyright lawyers called Tristam.
It worked so well that buying the 'official' shirt is now thought by most to show your loyalty to the club, as opposed to making you feel ripped off for buying a cheap bit of nylon at an inflated price.
Shirt sponsors were resisted for a while, but in 1977 Hibs took Bukta's money. Hands up who remembers sports company Bukta? No-one? Good.
Derby did the first English deal in 1978 with Abba-loving wonky-shaped car people Saab but only wore them in the club photo as they were too ashamed at the rampant exploitation of the whole concept to play in them. And who wants a Saab anyway?
Liverpool, the famous socialist republic, were the first to actually play in a sponsored shirt in 1979 after doing a deal with Crown Paints.
In the early 80s, BBC and ITV wouldn't show games when clubs had the sponsor logos on their shirts, so briefly everyone had to have a 'for TV only' strip without a logo or cover up the offending words with gaffer tape.
The old farts had to give way in 1983 but insisted the logo should be no more than 16 inches square, which was exactly the same size as their brains.
Meanwhile, the kit itself was evolving away from heavy-duty cotton and into the infamous shell-suit hell. Shorts became so skimpy that your meat and potatoes could flop out in an unguarded moment if not secured properly with gaffer tape, super glue or the tongue of a local virgin.
Man-made fabric shirts could be printed on, so everything went loved-up psychedelic. Goalkeepers wore garish shirts that made them look like clowns. Arsenal's '91-'93 cubist hallucination away strip could induce epilepsy on a sunny day.
Norwich's shirt was a radioactive green and yellow vomit splatter. Increasingly, going to the football was like taking mescaline and staring at the sun for 12 hours. Hull City's even had tiger stripes on. Pussies.
Shorts became billowing and voluminous again. Clubs brought out a new strip every year as well as a second, third and fourth variation. The notion of the away team only wearing their second colours if there was a clash was virtually abandoned for commercial reasons.
Man United famously wore a two-tone creation in a vile washed-out old knicker grey which apparently made them invisible to each other. Newcastle United designed denim-coloured shirts to officially 'go well' with jeans. Liverpool's jade away shirt was genuinely cheap and nasty-looking, much like the team.
21st century technology has brought us the wicking shirt and loads of collar variations and design details which are tweaked every other year to make kids buy them again and again and again.
Retro strips have become a large industry, if not as big an industry as the official 'bootleg' shirts, which you can buy from a man called Mo on any market, anywhere in Britain on any weekday for £5.99 which are made, invariably in the same factory, by the same slaves, no sorry, people, as the 'official' shirts in Singapore and come with the exact same 'unforgeable' holographic tags. Isn't capitalism wonderful?
The strip industry is in a constant state of revolution as clubs and sportswear companies seek to squeeze bigger profits out of fans' loyalty so they have enough money to buy great players like Djimi Traore and buy themselves unpleasant large cars and women.
AIG's £14.1 million deal with Man United shows what big business it all is. But who wants a shirt with something as nerdy as a 'leading provider of flexible investment solutions' on their chest? Okay, Gavin in accounts does, but I mean anyone who isn't a virgin and who doesn't still live with their parents.
Is it worth the money? Does it increase profits? Some people wouldn't buy a Sharp TV when they sponsored Man United. Are you going to get AIG to do their thing with your money? The f*ck you are!
Not everyone wants to be a billboard for, in the Boro's case, 888.com. It might be the 'official' shirt but so what? It's ugly and downright uncool.
Clubs should make shirts available without the sponsor logo at an increased price to compensate for the reduced ad revenue. Then we could wear the current strip but not endorse the various shysters, environmental rapists, mentalist food purveyors and capitalist attack dogs which often sponsor our clubs and country.
For most of us a match day isn't complete without donning some sort of club shirt past or present. It's important. When a fan sings 'you're not fit to wear the shirt', it is still the biggest insult you can throw at any player. Shirts are an important part of life. They are totems of allegiance. They are not merely a 'brand', they are part of our collective social, civic and cultural identity.
A football club's shirt is very, very powerful...even if it does give you nipple rash.


When not putting Vaseline on his sore, erect nipples, Johnny runs the stonking t-shirt company www.djtees.com. You can read more of him on www.footyrocks.co.uk, www.fmttm.com and www.eplleague.blogspot.com and buy his dirty book Footy Rocks! from www.amazon.co.uk.

Fra: Football365.com

[kjelvi]

Alt - da mener jeg absolutt ALT - om Leeds Uniteds drakter og badges finner du her: http://www.mightyleeds.co.uk/misc/kits.htm

[berlin]

knall![]

[kjelvi]

Bilder av alle Leeds City- og Leeds United-trøyene: http://new.photos.yahoo.com/davetomuk/album/576460762318782861#page1

[kjelvi]

Porno for Sverre og andre program-samlere.
Cover-fotos av 70 Leeds Utd-programmer fra 1930 til i dag. Litt av en utvikling...




http://new.photos.yahoo.com/davetomuk/album/576460762318745577

[kjelvi]

Managers of Leeds City and Leeds United:
27 manager fra 1905 til i dag




http://new.photos.yahoo.com/davetomuk/album/576460762318782888

[berlin]

You Great Allpack! ( Fritt oversatt: Du store alpakka! )
Spiller ingen rolle hvilke automatiserte snutter du bruker for innhenting.
Dette er sider som står til gull! )

[Jon R]

Kjelvi er Kongen av OEF. []

Jon R.

[HåvardK]

Og Jon R er hans profet.

[kjelvi]

Billig sofa til salgs.....

[kjelvi]

Se verdens verste sjåfører

Her er et utvalg fra noen av de drøyeste sjåførene for øyeblikket. Se de utrolige videoene.

Ulykker kan skje, det er greit. Her snakker vi om folk som strengt tatt mangler de basale kunnskaper om bilkjøring vi andre tar for gitt. Tilfeldigvis ble de også fanget på film idet de utfoldet seg.

http://www.nettavisen.no/bil/article905631.ece

[Erik_]

Kjelvi... du vet kanskje ikke at det er en som kaller seg RuneR på forumet.

For de nysgjerrige som trodde det samme som meg, så var det altså ikke det. []

[kjelvi]

quote:Originally posted by Enrique

Kjelvi... du vet kanskje ikke at det er en som kaller seg RuneR på forumet.

oooooooops
dette er snakk om den mer omtale Rune 'Ut mot havet' Rudberg...

[Asbjørn]

quote:Originally posted by kjelvi
oooooooops
dette er snakk om den mer omtalte Rune 'Ut mot havet' Rudberg...

Her inne, Kjell Bjørn, er Rune R langt mer kjent i skikkelsen til den utflytta nordmøringen Reitan enn denne lett avkledte syngemannen...

Dette tilhører jo egentlig Luscos' elementære ABC...




Well Frankie Lee he paniced, he dropped ev'rything and ran
Until he came up to the  spot, where Judas Priest did stand
"What kind of house is this", he said "Where I have come to roam?"
"It's not a house", said Judas Priest "It's not a house... it's a home"
B.Dylan

[kjelvi]

quote:Originally posted by Asbjørn

Her inne, Kjell Bjørn, er Rune R langt mer kjent i skikkelsen til den utflytta nordmøringen Reitan enn denne lett avkledte syngemannen...
Dette tilhører jo egentlig Luscos' elementære ABC...

Oooops. I motsetning til Rune R(udbeg) er jeg nesten som en jomfru å regne her i Forum....

[kjelvi]

Quotes of the Week

"When you're dealing with someone who only has a pair of underpants on, if you take his underpants off, he has nothing left - he's naked. You're better off trying to find him a pair of trousers to complement him rather than change him."
Arsene Wenger explains his football philosophy - something about not stifling creativity and taking away a player's flair. We think.

"If I give you a good wine, you will see how it tastes and after you ask where it comes from." Wenger (he's on a roll now) defends his recruitment policy at Arsenal.

"I do not think about the national team too much because footballistically it is not of too much interest."
And he's even making words up.

"It really p****d me off that a team-mate should poke his nose in and say I need to think more about the team - especially when it's him who needs to think more about the group! We have the guy considered the best in the world but Samuel Eto'o is also the best in the world. I know he's slagging me off but he should have the b******s to say things to my face instead of stabbing me in the back."
Barcelona striker Samuel Eto'o after Frank Rijkaard claimed he refused to come on as a sub against Racing Santander and was backed by Ronaldinho.

"People think that there is a time bomb in the dressing room, but that isn't true. Rijkaard has got the team under control. Samuel Eto'o has a good relationship with the rest of the group and the atmosphere is good"
Tonight, Matthew, Barcelona captain Carles Puyol is Comical Ali.

"The players said afterwards they were better at penalties than me!"
Middlesbrough boss and Euro 96 penalty fluffer Gareth Southgate after watching his side defeat Bristol City on spot kicks in their FA Cup replay.

"I'm like a badger at the start of the pairing-up season."
Plymouth manager Ian Holloway on reaching the FA Cup quarter-finals.

"He's obviously had a mid-season break or the sun bed has been working well. He looked lovely and brown and he is a handsome man."
Ipswich boss Jim Magilton on referee Steve Bennett, whose decisions, Town fans felt, cost their side a place in the FA Cup quarter-finals.

"I get shouted at by the wife all the time for having an untidy bedroom."
Freddie Flintoff reveals his bad habits to the 11-year-old schoolboy who answered questions about the England all-rounder on Junior Mastermind.

"It's just disappointing and it disappoints you."
Dennis Wise on the Leeds United 'snitch' who allegedly passed on team news to opponents Crystal Palace.

Guy Mowbray: "Big Sam and Little Sam are trying to get Bolton back into this."
Mark Lawrenson: "Big Sam, Little Sam? Sounds like a Cbeebies programme!"
BBC commentators talking about Bolton management team Sam Allardyce and Sammy Lee.

"Dear oh dear - that's on the M61!"
Lawro after Gilberto Silva's comedy penalty miss for Arsenal against Bolton in the FA Cup replay.

"He made a few runs in Brisbane and a double century in Adelaide, but I reckon my son could have batted on the first two days there and he is only seven."
Shane Warne heaps praise on Paul Collingwood.

"I try and be good in many different areas, a strong advocate in many areas. But two minutes after people see this interview I'll just be that big gay guy."
Former England international John Amaechi becomes the first former NBA player to publicly declare his homosexuality, during a TV interview.

"It was a major honour to come here and meet the Queen and have a look around. When I get home I'm going to say to my little girl that I've been to Buckingham Palace."
Arsenal captain Thierry Henry on his date with Her Maj.

"Me and Johnno lay in the bath and we could hardly get out!"
Leicester's Geoff Horsfield after he and fellow-striker Andy Johnson got the goals that sank Coventry - despite having a combined age of 65.

"Sometimes you want to crack open the champagne and sometimes you want to kick the dog."
Macclesfield boss Paul Ince after the 2-1 win over Peterborough spared Rover for another week.

"I can't wait to meet Roy Keane...I've got a few of his qualities but I would never claim to be half as hard as he is!"
Sunderland fan Paul Collingwood looks forward to meeting his hero.

"What was incredible was going into the Chelsea dressing room to have a chat and swap shirts. It's bigger than my house!"
Norwich midfielder Dickson Etuhu after the 4-0 FA Cup defeat by Chelsea.


AND SOME FROM YOU
"Now that Nos has switched to centreback, he's got much less time on the ball, which is best for all concerned."
A rare moment of comedy from Sunderland boss, Roy Keane, talking about Nyron Nosworthy. (Keith Irving, UK).

"Neil Warnock chopped down Aliadiere in the penalty box and from the replay it looked a clear foul."
Arsenal website has the Sheffield United boss moonlighting for Blackburn. (Uwais Patel, Blackburn).

"Arsenal's first touch and movement is amazing. I hope the people listening are watching this."
Chris Waddle commentating on Bolton v Arsenal in the FA Cup on Five Live. (Chris Alexander, England).

"John Barnes is literally in the eye of the storm at the Bay Arena."
Colin Murray at half-time during Blackburn's Uefa cup tie at Bayer Leverkusen. (Paul Sims, UK).

"Steve Coppell is not no mug."
Ian Wright in the pre-match build-up to Man U v Reading. (A Usher, UK).

"This will be out caught if they catch it."
Cricket commentator Tony Greig, whenever a man is under a high catch. (Steve, Newport).

"There won't be any alcohol for the players in Spain. Maybe a glass of wine for the manager so he can chill out."
Alan Pardew's relaxed view on Charlton's intensive five-day training camp in Spain. (Tommy Blanche, UK).

"Kitson's pass was that good Sidwell didn't even have to move for it, he just ran straight to it."
Lee Dixon on MOTD2 commenting on Steve Sidwell's one-two with Dave Kitson. Didn't move or had to run? Make your mind up, Lee! (Luke Dearing, England).

"I don't want to be playing in the Under 21s forever."
Quote from David Bentley in interview before FA Cup match vs Arsenal on BBC1. Er, does David understand the ageing process? (Jezza, UK).

"The full backs are very offensive."
Glenn Roeder describing his rude team before the Uefa Cup match against Zulte-Waregem. (Iain Macleod, UK).


Kilde: Football365.com

[RuneR]

quote:Originally posted by Asbjørn

quote:Originally posted by kjelvi
oooooooops
dette er snakk om den mer omtalte Rune 'Ut mot havet' Rudberg...

Her inne, Kjell Bjørn, er Rune R langt mer kjent i skikkelsen til den utflytta nordmøringen Reitan enn denne lett avkledte syngemannen...

Dette tilhører jo egentlig Luscos' elementære ABC...

Takk, Asbjørn, nå slipper jeg kanskje å bytte nick...... Grøss....

`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>

[kjelvi]

Fra serien 'Sportskommentarer vi sent vil glemme':

"Når det gjelder Rolf Hovden, kommenterte han sin siste kamp for NRK i Norwich i januar 1985. (Norwich-Soton) Etter å ha våknet fyllesyk lørdag morgen, tok han for sikkerhets skyld noen beroligende tabeletter. For deretter å fylle på med øl og whisky like før matchen. En del av tribunen på Carrow Road i Norwich hadde tilfeldigvis vært utsatt for en brann noen dager før. Dette holdt Hovden på med å fortelle om det første kvarteret av kampen. Helt til en Norwichspiller skjøt i tverrliggeren. Det var da Hovden sa: "Og der datt målet ned." Hvilket det ikke gjorde, og Hovden ble tatt av luften. NRK-løgnen: ”Vi har mistet forbindelsen med England”. Øyvind Johnsen måtte da kommentere resten av matchen fra studio. Og han begynte selvfølgelig å messe om den samme brannen. Også han i ca. 15 minutter. Forskjellen var bare at Johnsen var edru. De som slo over på svensk TV, fikk høre en rasende nordmann i bakgrunnen. Vedkommende skjelte og bannet og ba om å få kontakt med NRK igjen. Og han var ikke edru."

- Sverige tar ut en neger og setter innpå en sigøyner.
Bulgarsk TV da Henke Larsson kom innpå for Martin Dahlin under bronsefinalen i fotball-VM 1994

Med snøvlete stemme: "det er de blå som har ballen"
(En noe bedugget Rolf Hovden ved en annen anledning...)

"Meningsløs pasning... som går til Belanov...som scorer!!"
(Øyvind Johnssen)

"Det skuddet går himmelhøyt over... og i mål!!"
(Øyvind Johnssen)

"To null ved samme mann!"
(Øyvind Johnssen ser reprisen av 1-0)

Vet iallfall at han (Rolv Hovden) var i Molde på kamp,så traff han en gjeng og ramlet utpå.
Tilslutt fikk de han inn i ei taxi,og med fly til Fornebu.Husker at Øivind Johnssen
satt å venta på tapen fra Molde,men venta forgjeves.Vi fikk ikke bilder fra Molde-
kampen før i Sportsrunden dagen etter.

Sølve Grotmol ble sur da han ikke fikk et intervju med Sven Tore Jacobsen
og kalte han "Din Arrogante Jævel!!” Med åpen mikrofon selvfølgelig

Flere morsomme: Dalby var jo alltid en garantist for blødmer og pinligheter, men dette må være den beste: "Her kommer LITT av en idrettsutøver!!!" (sagt under Paralympics 94).
Eller Herwig Carlsens, under skiskying: "Her kommer Uschi Disl, hun har vært grensevakt, så hun er vant til å skyte på flyktninger!"
Big Ron Atkinsons "f**king cheating nigger!"-kommentarer om Desailly når han trodde mikrofonen var av er også en pen en....

Haha, hur går det an att säga något sådant? :-D
I Sverige får vi nöja oss med Hegerforsare i stil med "Det ser mörkt ut på Kameruns avbytarbänk", när de låg under mot Sverige i VM 1994 (tror jag väl det var)

Grotmol, Nagano-OL, kunstløp for damer:
Michelle Kwan er ute på isen, da kameraet rettes mot det japanske keiserparet. Grotmol: "Og her sitter mor og far"

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
> >
> > "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
> > like this."
> >
> >
> > JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
> >
> > "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
> >


Hehe, beste/verste må være turnkommentator Pål Flaten (god del år siden) som under NRKs direktesending av turn-NM presterte å si (når 14 år gamle Unni Holmen gikk i spagat) at "Pølseboden er åpen!"....

Riktig sitat er:"Unni Holmen går ned i spagaten så hele pølseboden åpner seg. Den som som hadde vært en bom nå, dere!" Han het forresten Pål Claesen, og han fikk sparken av NRK samme dag.


-”Nå er det faen meg 12 negre på banen!!” Rolv Hovden, når Norge spiller mot et afrikansk lag på slutten av 70-tallet.

Paal Fredheim tabbet seg kraftig ut i pausen under en engelsk Canal+ kamp : I pauseunderholdningen på banen var det masse veldreide aerobic/fitnessjenter på banen og han sier: "Ja... her var det mye F***e folk!!" Dag Solheim og studiogjesten begynner å humre og Fredheim prøver å rette opp: "Altså! F***e! F***e! F***e folk!!" Alt ble bare verre....

Rodal kom på tredjeplass under en 800 meter, og sa etter løpet: "Det kom en svarting til på slutten."

Syns Gleditch var glimrende før han gikk til TV3, og denne er veldig fin: "Om det ikke var kattens lek med musen, var det ihvertfall kattens lek med en katt som var mye mindre."

En til av Pål Cleasen: "C-moment i turn er like vanskelig som å ha samleie i ei folkevogn!"

Og Frank Strandi, tidenes Leedsflopp: Jeg smakte et godt øl i England. Jeg tror det het "pint"".

"Han står som kuken!" -Rolv Hovden igjen.(før Grotmol tok over turn på NRK...)

"Legg merke til hans spurt" Lars Lystad om Fernando Ramirez på en 100-meter.

Lars Jacob Krogh: “Bård Jøden Elgen” (Om Bård Jørgen Elden)

Ellers kom jeg på en Øivind Johnssen-historie. Husker en kamp mellom Birmingham og
Liverpool. Johnssen fortalte ei historie om krigen og no' greier, spillet gikk sin gang
mens Øivind messa om sitt. Plutselig våkner han fra dvalen: ”Det er straffespark altså!!”

Rolv Hovden igjen. Under Ipswich-Manchester United greide han ikke å si Ipswich. Snøvlet i et sett: Micchhhh......Miiiiilllllsssss.

Var en ishockeykommentator som også ble smått legende etter denne: Kommenterte på radio for Spektrum Flyers da de hadde lag i eliten. Han var kanondritings, og midt i 2.periode ble det helt stille, og plutselig....”Kjerringa har gått fra meg, vet ikke hva jeg skal gjøre jeg...”
Husker jeg satt rimelig paff i godtolen den dagen der. Husker bare ikke navnet på den karen der.

Alkohol i kommentatorbua er nå en ting, men jeg glemmer aldri vår kjære Scheies blemme da lystavlene for å markere tilleggstid ble introdusert, tror det var rundt VM 1998. Godeste Arne blir sjokkert da han tror at det skal helt umotivert foretas et keeperbytte etter ca 44 miniutter. "HVA? SKAL KEEPER'N UT?" skriker han til sin sidekommentator. Nice one, Arnie!

Arne Scheie, hysterisk etter Rekdal (Hertha Berlin) har scoret på straffen mot Brasil: ”Kjetil Rekseth! Fra Werder Bremen! Ã...åååååååhhhh!”

Olav Traaen hadde en lignende blemme i en damekamp. Fjerdedommeren holder opp lystavla sånn rundt omkring 88-89. minutt, og godeste Traaen skrike høyt:
'DOMMEREN HAR LAGT TIL FJORTEN MINUTTER !!!'...hvorpå det kommer tørt fra stakkars Karl-Petter Løken:'Jeg tror de har tenkt å bytte ut spiller nummer 14...'

Han (Hovden) sto vel flere ganger frem i Se & Hør og fortalte om sitt nye tørrlagte liv, for så å havne på fylla for kronene han fikk for det.

Og nå til andre episode av fotballkampen!
En av Dagsrevy-damene på NRK.

Med en kvart milliard på bok, ville vel noen og enhver få ”hole-in-one”!!.
Davy Wathne om Tiger Woods og den svenske kjæresten etter Woods hadde vunnet nok en golfturnering.

Spring, din svarte faen!
Conny Carlson, FK Haugesund-trener, til Bala Garba under kampens hete.

Hvordan står det til med beinet?
NRK-reporterens spørsmål til tidligere Vålerenga- og landslagspiss Pål
Jacobsen dagen etter at han amputerte beinet...

"Hvis Tromsø rykker ned idag, tenk hvilken oppvekst det blir for dattera til Ole Martin Ã...rst. Hun kommer til å gå rundt i Tromsø og blir kalt nedrykk-Ine" (Ivar Hoff. Siste avgjørende kamp, for tromsø sesongen 2003)

Sølve Grotmols var helt fantastisk når han, komplett likegyldig, uten å heve stemmen en eneste gang, kommenterte den klassiske 7-4 kampen mellom Oxford og Luton i 1988. I samme kamp klarte han å forveksle Luton-spilleren Mick Harford og Oxfords Dean Saunders i en halv-time. Når Harford scoret var det i følge Grotmol Saunders som gjorde det, og motsatt.

Terje Dalby bestemmer at kl 16.01 er et flott tidspunkt å spille den utrolig tåpelige og masete OL-floke-videoen, i stedet for å sette over til Southampton-Sheffield Wednesday i 1994.

I 1985, når Nrk sendte tysk fotball var Terje Dalby ofte reservekommentator for Scheie. Dette betød mange blødmer. I kampen Bayern Munchen-Nurnberg spilte Bayern i sine vanlige røde drakter og Nurnberg i hvitt. Dalby trodde frem til ca 20min at det var Bayern som spilte i hvitt. Når han endelig (etter et mål) oppdager fadesen, kom han med denne idiotiske løgnen for å redde seg: ”Oppi all viraken har det versert rykter om at Bayern Munchen skulle spille i hvite drakter!”

Start-trener Karsten Johannessen ville ha en utenlands dommers oppmerksomhet og ropte:
”Judge! Judge!” Så fant han ut at dette ikke var riktig betegnelse på en fotballdommer, og derfor endret til: ”Reference! Reference!”.......

Under lagtempo i sykkel i fjor diskuterte Thor Eggen og sidekommentatoren hva som kunne skje av uhell under lagtempo. Sidekommentatoren forteller en historie fra ett par år tilbake der han som lå først kjørte på en katt som kom ut av skogen. De ble til slutt enige om at hva som helst kunne komme ut av skogen. Det var da Eggen kom med kongekommentaren: "Når du er ute og sykler og det kommer en ubåt ut av skogen, da sykler du hjem, låser deg inn, og kaster nøkkelen".

[kjelvi]

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Who the f*** is Nelly? Who is he? Like I give a f*** it's his party" - a tired and emotional Paul Gascoigne asks the important questions as he is carried out of cute Canadian popster Nelly Furtado's aftershow party at London's trendy Mo*vida nightspot.

[kjelvi]

Bør sjekkes ut: http://www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html

oh my god

[kjelvi]

BBC: Quotes of the Week

Dennis Wise, he's 4ft 3, he's got the teamsheet, and so have we!"
Cardiff fans before kick off against Leeds.


"It doesn't matter what happened in the game - we got the three points."
Wayne Bridge gets confused after winning the Carling Cup final with Chelsea.

"Would I do it again? I will have to have a look at it because I don't want to pay him extra to be a stadium announcer!"
Watford manager Aidy Boothroyd on allowing injured Marlon King to give a pep talk to fans over the tannoy before the Wigan game.

"Many great managers have never won the Champions League - a big example is not far from us."
Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho reminds Arsene Wenger there's only room for one Special One in London.

"I was sat in the Arsenal dugout and didn't see it!"
Wigan boss Paul Jewell puts on his Wenger specs when asked to comment on the dodgy penalty won for Newcastle by Antoine Sibierski.

"I dislike him and I think he dislikes me!''
Stephen Maguire doesn't mince his words after beating Shaun Murphy at snooker's Welsh Open.

"People are only comfortable with gay people in certain roles. If they're doing your hair or taking your cup before landing at Luton, it's acceptable."
Former NBA Star John Amaechi, who recently revealed that he was gay, claims homophobia is rife among sports fans.

"With normal mathematics, minus 80 is minus 80. It's not on the surface, it is 80 miles below water - and to survive so deep is normally very difficult."
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger gives his opinion on Chelsea's £80m losses.

"I don't like kicking the ball a lot."
Jonny Wilkinson reveals some shocking news - although to be fair he never looks like he's enjoying it.

"Although I am not a vain person I believe I am the best."
Mr Modest Ronaldinho leaves Steven Gerrard in no doubt as to who is the king of football.

"It sounds mad but it's a quiet group and it has probably been the best week we've had together laugh-wise."
'Nutter with a putter' Craig Bellamy on the 'bonding session' that helped Liverpool to a 2-1 win at the Nou Camp.

"I've had occasions when I've opened the papers in trepidation and nothing has been in them and I'm amazed."
Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock on the perils of letting players go on a night out.

"If I score against Porto I don't know whether I will celebrate or cry."
Chelsea's Portuguese star Ricardo Carvalho ahead of the Champions League clash. He needn't have worried.

"If you're a crash bang wallop merchant you might not see the good things in Thierry Henry."
Stuart 'Psycho' Pearce shows his softer side.


AND SOME FROM YOU
"Raphael Ibanez won't know if he's in Paris or Porthcawl after that."
BBC commentator Nick Mullins after an Alix Popham tackle - France v Wales Six Nations. (Noel, Newport).

"As you know, China is a communist state and you have to conform. Owen is a non-conformist. I gave him a copy of Das Kapital and he thought it was a guide to the capital cities of the world."
Dunfermline manager Stephen Kenny after Owen Morrison's move to China fell through. (Brendan Croft, Scotland).

"He looked like he was wearing your coat over the last 10 yards!"
Mark Lawrenson to John Motson following Stephen Hunt's lung-busting 80-yard run into the Man Utd half during Reading's FA Cup tie. (Leo Duke, Edinburgh).

"Opera performer Martin Toal will be signing on the Valley pitch from 2.40pm on Saturday."
This extract from the Charlton website shows they are getting a bit desperate in the relegation battle. (Tim Kitching, UK).

"The problem with Arsenal is they are conceding far too easily at Highbury."
Graham Taylor appears to be a year behind times. (Jules Wallis, England).

"As you can see, global warming hasn't quite reached Newcastle."
Channel 5 commentator during a chilly Uefa Cup night at St James's Park (Tim Kitching, UK).

"A bit of pushing and shoving between Deco and Mohamed Sissoko. It is like a terrier picking a fight with an alsatian, but in this instance the terrier comes out on top as the alsatian is booked. Obviously dogs don't get yellow cards in the park. Just go with the flow on that one."
Charlie Henderson commentating on Champions League for BBC website. (Adam Oakley, Scotland).

"Alonso and Sissoko have been picked to literally sit in front of the back four."
Jamie Redknapp on the Liverpool midfielders taking it easy for the Champions League game against Barcelona. (James, UK).

"On the line is over."
Brian Moore commentating on England v Ireland at Croke Park. (Mel Murphy, England).

"That's cannoned off ball."
Commentator on Man City v Preston. (Daniel Sutcliffe, Colne).

"Of course, sometimes you just get caught up in the euphoriarism of the match."
Alan McNally invents a new word while commenting on Fabio Capello's apparent enthusiasm for Real Madrid. (Mark A, England).

"I can't count the number of times I've seen him being literally invisible tonight."
Archie Macpherson describing Celtic player Shunsuke Nakamura against AC Milan. (Andrew Rennie, Scotland).

"They've got a draw here, you can't get better than that."
Alan Hansen on Reading's draw with Man Utd. (Chris, UK).

"Maybe the best way to beat Arsenal is to try to beat them."
Complex tactical advice for teams playing Arsenal from Spoony on 606 after Wigan's late loss to the Gunners. (Aidan, Scotland).


CHANTS OF THE WEEK
"Are you Britney in disguise?"
Charlton fans to bald ex-Charlton player Paul Konchesky during Charlton's 4-0 win over West Ham. (Tommy Blanche, England).

"Are you watching Tottenham?"
Chant from PSV fans in the 90th minute against Arsenal. (Neil Blinston, USA).

"The referee's a w*****!"
Exeter fans after a bad first-half performance by the referee.

"The referee's a legend!"
Exeter fans after the ref awarded them two penalties in the second half. (Ben Samuel, UK).

"We've got our Willy back."
Arsenal fans at the home game against Blackburn, re Gallas's first appearance for a while. (Adam Davies, UK).

"Dennis Wise, he's 4ft 3, he's got the teamsheet, and so have we!"
Cardiff fans before kick off against Leeds. (Ben, Cardiff).

"Let's talk about Cesc baby, lets talk about Flam-in-i, let's talk about Theo Walcott, Freddie Ljungberg and Henry, let's talk about Cesc."
Arsenal fans, To the tune of Salt and Pepa's "Let' Talk About Sex." (Nathan Upton, England).

"Who needs Mourinho? We've got Justinio."
Hull KR fans salute super Justin Morgan after winning for the second time in Super League. (Andie Riley, Leeds).

"We support our local team."
Reading fans to Man Utd at Old Trafford. (Neil W, UK).

"They tried to make us to go to replay, we said no, no, no! Yes we've played crap, but when we come back you'll know, know, know!"
Manchester United fans after Reading equalised in the FA Cup tie (to the tune of Amy Winehouse's Rehab). (Mona Moussa, UK).

"You're Not Fit To Referee!"
Preston Fans to Phil Dowd after he was forced off injured while refereeing PNE v Norwich. (Ben, UK).

"You're just a small town in Scotland!"
Bristol City fans away at Middlesbrough. (Ken Atkinson, England).

"He's got no hair, but we don't care, Martin, Martin, Jol!"
Spurs fans during the FA Cup clash with Fulham. (André Torgersen, Norway).

Kilde: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/6396803.stm

[Ferre]

Tror kanskje denne har blitt postet på forumet før, men jeg legger den ut en gang til.

For en stil! []

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivVYMwnfqMo&NR

-WE'LL BE BACK-

[Lars E]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCkYfYa8ePI

Forever Leeds

[kjelvi]

quote:Originally posted by Larseirik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCkYfYa8ePI

Genial og morsom - og ikke så lite skremmende!

[Ferre]

quote:Originally posted by Larseirik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCkYfYa8ePI

Forever Leeds

Man begynner å lure på hva de egentlig lærer på skolen der borte...

-WE'LL BE BACK-

[kjelvi]

MPs back Paisley knighthood drive
MPs are joining the growing campaign to grant a posthumous knighthood for former Liverpool manager Bob Paisley.
Labour MP George Howarth has tabled a Commons motion for Paisley to receive the award 11 years after his death.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/6422323.stm


DA ER VEL TIDEN INNE FOR Ã... GI DON REVIE DEN ANERKJENNELSEN HAN FORTJENER!!

Jeg mener at Don Revie er grovt undervurdert i England. Tror nok det er hans sorti som England-sjef som kaster laaange skygger over hans ettermele.

I BBC kåring (det var vel tidlig høst) er han en gang ikke inne på Topp 10:

1. Paisley: 28%
2. Clough: 27%
3. Stein: 18%
4. Fergie: 15%
5. Shankly: 6%
6. Nicholson: 4%
7. Busby: 1%
8. Chapman: 1%

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/football_focus/6094334.stm

Registerer at to/tre ex-managere er inne - Clough og Stein, som begge var så kort tid på Elland Road at de nesten ikke rakk å henge fra seg frakken. Herbert Chapman var i sin tid manager for Leeds City, men er mest kjent for sin tid i Arsenal.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Revie

[kjelvi]

BBC: Quotes of the Week


No, not yet!
"The fat lady hasn't started singing yet, although she might be clearing her throat."
Watford manager Aidy Boothroyd prepares for the worst.

"I feel Adebayor didn't punch anybody so when the linesman says he punched somebody, he lies."
Arsene Wenger still seething about the Carling Cup final, four days later.

"He was slurring his words, but not because he'd had one too many."
Onlooker who witnessed a concussed John Terry celebrating Chelsea's Carling Cup win.

"I thought a bit of poetry might be interesting - I even write a few lines myself. I composed a short poem for my mum's 70th birthday recently. When I recited it I saw the glint of a tear in her eye...although I guess it wasn't the quality of the poetry was that making her cry!"
Coventry manager Iain Dowie after revealing that he used a poem called 'Fight One More Round' to inspire his team to victory against Hull.

"The 90th minute at Anfield, in front of the Kop...Gary Neville told me that is his dream and I've just gone and done it!"
John O'Shea on his dramatic late winner for Man Utd at Liverpool.

"Dwight's even more laid back than me - he's horizontal!"
Sunderland striker Stern John on fellow Trinidad & Tobago star Dwight Yorke after the pair scored the goals that sank West Brom.

"I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey."
Plymouth manager Ian Holloway on the mystery virus that kept him out of action last week.


Holloway has been feeling a little off colour

"He was so rough he looked like Gollum. We thought the Lord of the Rings had become our new manager. But at least he lost a bit of weight he needed to lose - so every cloud has a silver lining!"
Plymouth's Kevin Gallen has little sympathy for his boss.

"It was a strange game. I have two kids at home, a five-year-old and a six-year-old, and I want to see them grow up. If they carry on doing that, I probably won't."
Bradford coach Steve McNamara after the Bulls beat Wigan 32-28 in a ding-dong match that saw his stress levels go through the ceiling.

"I think about it when I'm lying in bed trying to get to sleep. I have these thoughts running around my head...running in to bowl the first ball of the World Cup against Australia and then all of a sudden I've got Matthew Hayden out caught behind, and Ricky Ponting has come in and I've got him caught behind as well, and Brad Hodge has walked to the crease and I've got him lbw, and all of a sudden they're three wickets down in the first over."
Scotland bowler Paul Hoffman dreams of World Cup glory against Australia.

"Audley has been a pro for seven years, it took him six before he had a meaningful fight and it was a crap one."
Frank Warren's assessment of Audley Harrison. Just say what you think, Frank.

"I have told Nancy not to eat any spicy food and not to walk around but to sit, cross her legs and watch TV."
Jason Gardener instructs his wife not to go into labour before he attempts to win his fourth successive European indoor 60m gold. She obliged - and so did he.

"My sisters both played for Ireland at the women's World Cup but I couldn't believe it when I read an interview with them on the BBC Sport website telling me they are going to give me handy hints about the World Cup!"
Ed Joyce is not sure how to take his sisterly advice.


Neil Warnock, at your service  

"Steve Bennett knows the rules but not the game. Until referees get a Neil Warnock educating them at their weekly get-togethers, these things will keep happening."
Neil Warnock offers his services after Steve Bennett applied the letter of the law to award Liverpool their first penalty in Sheffield United's 4-0 defeat at Anfield.


AND SOME FROM YOU
"There is still a long way to go. People talked about this one being a six-pointer, but we have only got three more points."
Norwich manager Peter Grant failing to come to terms with the "six pointer" adage. Did he actually think he would get six points for the win? (Colin B, Scotland).

"Probably five minutes before the end, Jose would have been ordering me a crate of wine, Now he will be letting my tyres down!"
Fulham boss Chris Coleman after his side came very close to doing Chelsea a favour against Man Utd. (Ray Rajani, London).

"It's always difficult against teams who are fighting for relegation."
Leicester rugby union player Lewis Moody gets confused as to the objectives of the teams in the lower half of the league! (Phil, England).

"I was disappointed we didn't score three or four given the number of chances we created."
Sheffield Wednesday manager Brian Laws after the Owls beat Southend 3-2. Er, you did score three, Brian! (Brian McDonagh, Ireland).

"And there's little Iniesta, hugging the post like it's his girlfriend."
Some Geordie bloke commentating in the Sevilla v Barca game. (Fershad, Australia).

"It's a 12k race, and to give you an idea of how far that is, it's 12000 metres."
On Sky at the weekend during the cross country championships. (Al Newell, UK).

"The one worry I had about him was his defending."
Jan Molby's reassuring comments on Liverpool defender Daniel Agger. (Martyn Roberts, UK).


If you're looking for a genius, call Giggsy

"Ryan could play football in a phone box and find the door no matter how many players you put in there with him."
Man Utd assistant Carlos Queiroz's tribute to Ryan Giggs on the BBC website. (Ray Rajani, London).

"Drogba literally destroyed Senderos today."
Jamie Redknapp after the Carling Cup final. I know football's a tough game... (Kareem Tayara, England).

"Kelly Sotherton will have the home crowd literally running the whole 800m with her."
Colin Jackson on the UK's pentathlon hopeful at the European Indoor Athletics Championships at Birmingham. (Nic, UK).

"We played well and we go away with a point."
Milan Baros's recent interview after Lyon's draw in the Champions League first leg. Still stuck in the group stages eh? (Is he Wayne Bridge in disguise? Ed) (Dan Shewell, England).

"We're now into the second minute of torture at the end of the first half."
Five Live Commentator Alan Green showing what he really thinks of the Blackburn-Arsenal FA Cup Replay. (Billy Long, England).

"It made me think of taking on somebody else's wife. When someone's been married a few times, do you want to take them on?"
Swansea City Chairman Huw Jenkins reveals he was never particularly keen on appointing a manager who had been sacked by another club. (Daniel Jones, Swansea).

"No they don't merit being in the lead but they deserve it."
John Robertson on Inverness leading Celtic at half time in the Scottish Cup. (Steven McLean, Scotland).


CHANTS OF THE WEEK
"You're even worse than Graham Poll."
Reading fans to Graham Poll during Man Utd v Reading. (Nathan, UK).


Liverpool's win was a surprise, surprise

"Cilla wants her teeth back, Cilla wants her teeth back, La la la la, La la la la".
Liverpool fans to Ronaldinho during Barcelona match. (Bhrurdio Patel, UK).

"Boom, boom, boom, let me hear you say Keogh. Keogh!"
The Wolves fans after Andy Keogh scored his first goal for the club against Luton. (Karl, Salford).

"You'll never cheat for England!"
Watford fans to Everton's Andy Johnson after an alleged dive in the box. (Simon Harriyott, England).

"Oh we never win at home and we never win away, We lost last week and we lost today, We dont give a **** 'cos we're gonna win the cup, We're the MCFC OK!"
Man City fans after Wigan defeat. (Fe, England).

"There's only one Vicky Pollard!"
To a female ball girl at Bristol City v Bristol Rovers as she walked in front of the stand with her pink Rovers away shirt hanging out. (Matt, England).

"We're going down with a trophy."
Dunfermline fans during their Scottish Cup quarter-final win over Partick, while staring relegation in the face. (Mark Hill, UK).

"We love you Chelsea we do, oh Chelsea we love you!"
Spurs fans, after Carling Cup Final result flashed on the big screen after their match with Bolton. (Roger, UK).

"Rafa's got his Dirk out!"
Liverpool fans when Dirk Kuyt was warming up. (Gary, England).


Wisey could do with a lift

"Theres only one Jimmy Krankie!"
Wolves fans to Leeds manager Dennis Wise. (Mike Gullick, England).

"Sign him up, sign him up, sign him up!"
Leeds fans after Sheffield Wednesday skipper Lee Bullen scored an own goal to bring it back to 3-1.

"Four nil to the Wednesday boys!"
Owls fans after the same goal. (Owain Hunt, England).

"There's only one train in Wales."
Arsenal and Chelsea fans waiting forever outside Cardiff train station after the Carling Cup final. (Daniel Robinson, UK).

"We've got Channel 4!" and "Have you ever seen ER?"
Hibs fans to Queen of the South fans - you can't get a Channel 4 signal in the Borders. (Brian Russell, Scotland).

"Rangers till I'm dry!"
Small section of QPR fans getting wet against Plymouth. (Paul, London).


PETITION OF THE WEEK
"Given the lack of effort and despicable attitude shown by the majority of the West Ham squad this season, we the undersigned request that Hammer of the Year for this season is abandoned."
West Ham fans want their Player of the Year awards scrapped.


Kilde: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/funny_old_game/6419339.stm