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] Denne MÃ… jo postes på oef.
Here's one hot off the press for you! I've just got in from my esteemed nightclub, where a fair proportion of the Leeds United first team squad were present, some looking a little worse for wear. These were they:
Tony WarnerVery tall. Sensible. Enjoyed a boogie to a few R&B numbers.
Gary KellyYou nightowls out there who frequent Leeds City Centre will know that Gary is famed for his consummate professionalism. Pissed as per usual. Smoked several cigarettes (if it was good enough for Revie's team...) Spent a fair amount of time trying to coerce girls into dancing with him, with limited success. Requested House of Pain "Jump Around" to which I duly obliged. Terrible but enthusiastic dancer, which should be commended. To his credit he did exchange a Leeds Salute with me but he was the bloke at the end when the lights go up going "Go on, just one more! Frank Sinatra". Sorry to deny you Gary, but it was hometime.
KillerTo cool for school. Carried himself well. Didn't appear too pissed. Had a boogie to some R&B. Popular with the girls.
Steve StoneLooked very happy. Fairly tipsy. Smiling all the time. Had a bit of dance to some of the more golden oldie tracks, which wasn't surprising. I prayed he wouldn't try any fancy moves for fear of snapping his legs. Called me a "f**king wanker" in jest at the end as beer was sprayed in his direction, despite the fact that I wasn't drinking, was a good 15 feet away and the culprit was one Shaun Derry...
Shaun DerryDisturbing. Socialises like he plays. All over the place, covered a lot of ground. Literally. From my slightly elavated position in the DJ box I watched him stride purposefully around the club tapping random members of the public on the shoulder. They turned to face him and he simply raised his eyebrows or pointed towards the sky, before walking off. Stood on a bar stool and leapt off during House of Pain. Most of the above was completed with a bottle of Bud pressed to his lips, with both hands wrapped around the neck of the bottle. Pissed. Gave Stoney and several others his beer shower deep into injury time. For reasons I can't quite put my finger on, he's gone further up in my estimation!!
Kevin NichollsLike the new kid at the party. Leaned against the wall, pissed. Lost his footing a bit, readjusted, then leaned against the wall again. Had a bit of a boogie when they first arrived. Preferred dance music.
Eddie LewisSpent most of his time slightly mesmerised and grinning at Derry. Seemed happy enough. Took it easier than the rest like the lightweight Yank he is. Was wearing a terrible peach argyle sweater. Danced to a few of the oldies with Steve Stone.
Robbie Blake
Sunk a few beers, but was undistinguished. Had a dance with Lewis and Stone but seemed more preoccupied with chatting up girls.
Richard CresswellOur erstwhile centre-forward made his grand entrance by break-dancing on the dance floor! Proceeded to do a head stand and started scissor-kicking his legs. Given our current dearth of strikers I feared the worst. Happily no injuries resulted and Cressie went onto have a stormer, being the last to leave at the very end with a blonde thing on his arm. Except she was a tiny bit chubby. But we all know that fat girls try harder.
You're telling me we're not gonna walk this league? With that team spirit? Piece of piss!