TEMA: TULL & TØYS

[kjelvi]

Quotes of the week   

"I love you all - I've come to spread peace!''
Sir Alex Ferguson comes over all Mahatma Gandhi in his last press conference before the Champions League final.

"Can I go?"
Avram Grant's first question at his press conference. 'Yes', was the answer a week later.

"She's a nosey b****r, isn't she?!"
Fergie cuts GMTV's Fiona Phillips down to size when she asks who was on the other end of his phone when it interrupted her vital questions about the Manchester United hotel.

"He's said to me half a dozen times, 'I played centre-half for the school you know'. I said: 'Yes, but not against Didier Drogba'."
The United manager tries to curb Wayne Rooney's enthusiasm.

"It would be cool just to turn up and play Test cricket."
Shane Warne strikes fear into the heart of Englishmen everywhere by hinting that he would prepare to make a comeback in next year's Ashes if required.

"I could murder a cup of tea."
Doncaster boss Sean O'Driscoll looks forward to a drop of the hard stuff after seeing off Leeds in the play-off final.

"Thanks for giving me the best night of my life - but please don't tell my wife!"
1999 Champions League hero Ole Gunnar Solskjaer reveals the sentence he hears most when meeting Manchester United fans.

"Kanu? He's about 47."
Harry Redknapp when asked the age of FA Cup final winner Kanu, who claims to be 31.

"I might have to get my mum to bully him into starting me on Saturday."
Bristol City midfielder Lee Johnson reveals his cunning plan to get dad Gary to pick him for the Championship play-off final. It didn't work.

"Welcome to the MLS, baby!"
What FC Dallas star Adrian Serioux allegedly said to David Beckham after scything him down during LA Galaxy's 5-1 win.

"It's about the driver with the biggest balls who can get closest to the barriers."
Lewis Hamilton reveals Viz character Buster Gonad (and his unfeasibly large testicles) would be an ideal candidate to win the Monaco Grand Prix.

"Referees in the Premier League as well as the Champions League come to see me before the matches to tell me 'today, we don't dive, eh?' I would love to reply 'I'm a footballer, not a swimmer', but I think they wouldn't listen."
Didier Drogba before heading for an early bath in Moscow.

"I don't promise nothing, I don't promise nothing to my mum, I don't promise nothing to the supporters.''
Ronaldo keeps everyone guessing about his future - but at least he can talk proper, innit?


AND SOME FROM YOU
"United are looking to make the Glazers double Glazers."
Clive Tyldesley during the Champions League final, with the Manchester United owners looking to win the double. (Dan, England).

"Drogba is down for Chelsea and appears to be clutching his back. I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict he'll be fine in about two minutes."
From ESPN Gamecast during the Champions League final. (John, USA).

"Well, well, well, some of you did get out of bed the wrong side this morning. Come on chaps, let's get things into perspective. When you find yourself getting a bit angry about tonight's match, take a deep breath and think to yourself: there but for the grace of God, I could be 73cm tall, live in Inner Mongolia and smoke 40 a day. Even worse, you could be Kerry Katona."
A legendary quote from Ben Dirs on 606 in the build-up to the Champions League final. (Bhav Trivedi, UK).

"This is even bigger than the Bolton game."
Petr Cech putting the Moscow final into perspective. (Bhav Trivedi, UK).

"The curvaceousness was better than Dolly Parton!"
Ray Hudson, GolTV commentator, on Wesley Sneijder's goal during the Real Madrid-Levante match. (Recliner Queens, USA).

"Josh Lewsey, with his first touch since the previous one."
Miles Harrison commentating for Sky Sports on the Premiership semi-final between Wasps and Bath. (Piet, England).

"So Portsmouth have won the Cup, and I don't want to alarm you, but the last time that happened World War Two broke out."
Gary Lineker on the Cup final. (Chris Plowman, Cornwall).

Setanta reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas were Motherwell better than you today?
Gordon Strachan: "Mainly that big green one out there." (Frank, England).

"I don't really understand why Jason Koumas has not got lots of caps for England. He has certainly got the ability so it's a mystery to me."
'Expert' analyst Paddy Crerand on MUTV. Might be because he plays for Wales, Paddy!! (Glyn Llewellyn, England).

"And here comes Stringfellow in to bowl... er Sidebottom rather."
Henry Blofeld on TMS during England-New Zealand. (Matt Jackson, England).

"He's much like the abominable snowman. Much spoken of but never actually seen."
Archie MacPherson on elusive Rangers player Thomas Buffel. (Philip Craig, Scotland).

Eamonn Holmes: "Why are they building a statue of Gandhi instead of you in Leicester?"
Gary Lineker: "They didn't have enough bronze for my ears."
(Andrew Jones, England).

"And the umpire is showing as much interest in that appeal as I do in the Spice Girls."
IPL commentator Damien Fleming on the umpire rejecting an lbw appeal. (Rahul, India).

"When it becomes a two-horse race it's a different kettle of fish..."
Bristol City manager Gary Johnson mixes his metaphors with the aplomb of a skilled cocktail barman in the run-up to the Championship play-off final. (Drew Savage, England).

"This could still definitely go either way."
David Pleat during extra-time in the Champions League final. (Alun, Swansea).

"And they will be the pies at next years Scottish cup final."
Queen of the South chairman David Rae pointing to some cows on his farm during a TV interview ahead of the Scottish Cup final. (Fraser, Glasgow).

"There's no feeling quite like shaking hands with Prince Albert."
F1 commentator James Allen at the Monaco GP. (Brits on Pole, UK).

"He's a big unit - and if he's Junior Agogo, I certainly wouldn't like to meet Senior Agogo."
Fox Sports commentator Simon Hill during the Australia v Ghana match. (Daniel Dunkinson, Australia).

"I overheard the Russian guys talking earlier and frankly I couldn't understand a word they were saying. And quite rightly so, because I don't speak Russian."
Lewis Moody, co-commentating on the Twickenham Sevens for the BBC. (Steff Harries, Wales).

"Gordon Strachan is staying at Celtic after a third straight SPL triumph and will be handed £20 to spend in the summer. (Daily Mirror)."
BBC Gossip Column. (Hassan Hussain, UK).

"One of these teams will be in the Champions League as the holder next year."
Commentator during the Champions League final. Well done... (Ollie, England).

"When I held Mourinho in my arms I couldn't hold back my tears - it was too much."
Didier Drogba reveals the truth about his relationship with Jose, in his soon-to-be-released autobiography. (Shiraz, Harrow, England).


STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WEEK
"We would like to remind everyone that Tynecastle is a no-smoking stadium. We would also like to remind you that there are no cameras in the toilets or behind the burger stalls."
Hearts stadium announcer. (Christopher Skene, Scotland).

[kjelvi]

Quotes of the Year Part I
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7780062.stm

Noen smakebiter:

"I've always believed at this time of the season you get to see people like oranges - you squeeze them and some of them tend to capitulate."
Former Watford manager Adrian Boothroyd - clearly bananas.

"It was a large oversight on his behalf and the players think he should have been fined double! I used to do it myself - not lap dancing, there weren't such things in my day!"
Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill on striker John Carew's rather indiscreet visit to a "special" dancing club ahead of their Uefa Cup game with Ajax.

"We're actually thinking that Snow White can lead them out. And I'm being serious."
Celtic manager Gordon Strachan was worried his side would be dwarfed by Manchester United in the Champions League.

"It was like a UFO had landed."
Watford boss Aidy Boothroyd experienced a close encounter of the absurd kind when Stuart Attwell awarded a goal to Reading after the ball had rolled the other side of the post.

[kjelvi]

Quotes of the Year Part II
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7780066.stm

Noen Leeds-relaterte smakebiter:

"Gary Neville is the club captain but has been injured for the best part of a year now - and Giggsy's taken on the mantlepiece."
Rio Ferdinand was clearly having a hearth while describing the Man Utd captaincy.

"I should have punched him harder."
Eric Cantona revealed the main regret about the infamous kung-fu incident at Crystal Palace.

"As I sit here with a couple of world class hookers..."
Gaby Logan after the France-Ireland rugby match. (She was referring to co-commentators Wood and Ibanez.)

"Last year's race was a bit of a damp squid."
Mark Hateley on 5 Live about the Scottish title race.

"It's never over until it's over, but this is over."
Chris Kamara on Soccer Saturday updating viewers on Sunderland v Bolton.

[kjelvi]

"You don't know what you're doing!"

Leeds fans at Derby to a man who proposed to his girlfriend on the pitch.


The final say on 2008: Sports quotes of the year
http://www.independent.ie/sport/other-sports/the-final-say-on-2008-sports-quotes-of-the-year-1588589.html

[kjelvi]

Sport quotes of the week
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7834153.stm

"He's got 10 already, and I still expect him to get into double figures."
Andy Ritchie talking about Cristiano Ronaldo's goalscoring prowess on MUTV.

[kjelvi]

"We forgot all five of you were here!"
Leeds fans to Southend's small travelling contingent.

BBC: Sport quotes of the week
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7864849.stm

[kjelvi]

BBC: Sport quotes of the week
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7945887.stm

[kjelvi]

BBC: Sport quotes of the week
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7974274.stm


Leeds-relaterte smaksprøver:

"Our lives are quite boring. I spend a lot of time watching Coronation Street and Eastenders."
Rio Ferdinand on the Premier League soaperstars.

"We watched the 50 greatest Premier League Goals on the team bus - and Sully must have been in 49 of them!"
Doncaster's Richie Wellens on Rovers keeper Neil Sullivan.

"We have five games left, three at home and three away."
Nigel Worthington talking to BBC Sport Northern Ireland before the crucial match against Poland.

"I said they'd be static if they didn't start moving..."
El Tel's 'expert' analysis on the Slovakian defence last Saturday!

"Wimbledon, Wimbledon, Wimbledon!"
Leeds fans at MK Dons.

[kjelvi]

BBC: Sport quotes of the week
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/8009958.stm


Leeds-relaterte smakebiter:

"There is a lot of ice in that dressing room - it's like the dining room on the Titanic in there.''
Celtic boss Gordon Strachan gets that sinking feeling after his side's bruising 1-1 draw at Hearts.

"Jimmy knocked my screen and Drogba fell over."
Phil Thompson on Didier Drogba's diving after the Chelsea v Liverpool game. (Thompson was sat next to Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink on Sky Sports News.)



"Back in 1984 when Chris Kamara released the hit single Hello...or was it Lionel Richie?"
Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday.

"I'd play him all day long, even if it's only for 45 minutes."
Paul Merson talking about Mark Viduka.

"These two legs have really opened up."
Jim Beglin after Frank Lampard makes it 4-4 in the game with Liverpool.

"There's only one Peter Ridsdale!"
Stockport County fans to Leeds supporters at Elland Road.

"Would the steward responsible for music and dancers make himself known to the nearest steward."
At the Huddersfield-Leeds Super League match. Surely that would be himself?

[kjelvi]

BBC: Sport quotes of the week
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/8044493.stm


Leeds-relaterte smakebiter:

"It's absolutely fantastic - the funniest thing on television. I can't wait to get home!"
Celtic boss Gordon Strachan - Britain's Got Talent's biggest fan.

"If I could take anything away from Crystal Palace it would be Lady Luck. I'd put her in the boot of the car and hope that she can rear her head in the play-offs when you need it."
Sheffield United boss Kevin Blackwell after his side missed automatic promotion following a 0-0 draw at Selhurst Park.


Litt svak for denne:

CHANTS OF THE WEEK:

"The referee's From Norway!"
Heard at Inverness Caledonian Thistle v Hamilton - days after Tom Henning Ovrebo's controversial performance in the Chelsea-Barcelona game.

[kjelvi]

BBS's Sport quotes of the week
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/8115088.stm

Falt litt for denne...

"Don't film us, our wives think we're fishing in North Wales."
Banner at the Lions' first Test with South Africa.

[fjellhaugen]

noen nye og mange gamle.

http://msn.tv2sporten.no/fotball/altomfotball/article2620114.ece

men morsomme er de i allefall

[LeedsU878]

Sir Alex har gitt opp å kjøpe dommeren, så nå har han vært på dommerkurs selv

[steinhar]

<b>Tidenes Leeds-klassiker!</b>



<i>Eddie Gray v Burnley
2nd Goal
4th May 1970 </i>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkd3HWQu32Q

haha, fantastisk morsom film

[fjellhaugen]

mye fint her.
litt dårlig kvalitet, men som sagt en del morro

http://www.sol.no/klipps/video/de_storste_fotballtabbene

[kjelvi]

BBCs Quotes of the week
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/chrischarles/2009/11/quotes_of_the_week_3.html

"My Hangeland, my Hangeland I want you to play with my Hangeland."
To the tune of Chuck Berry's My Ding-a-ling, heard at Birmingham-Fulham to the Cottagers' Brede Hangeland.

[tobn på tur]

Har ikke sett den her før, så;
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/football_focus/8384199.stm

Rooney får seg en fin gave. Tipper han koste seg i den når han kom hjem.

[kjelvi]

"And now the Uefa Respect handshake, in association with the French Football Federation" og andre sitater fra balløya på BBCs quotes of the week: http://tinyurl.com/yj4z9sd

[Tom S]

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres has ruled out a big-money move to Manchester City because he wants his family to grow up as Scousers.
Full story: Daily Mirror


Er gutten fulsltendig blåst mellom øra?

[lojosang]

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres has ruled out a big-money move to Manchester City because he wants his family to grow up as Scousers.
Full story: Daily Mirror


Er gutten fulsltendig blåst mellom øra?

Hvor er barnevernet? 

[kjelvi]

"I'd have given my right arm to be a pianist."
Newcastle boss Bobby Robson when asked what would have been his dream job outside of football.

Mer ---> Quotes of the decade - part I
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/chrischarles/2009/12/quotes_of_the_decade_part_i.html

[ØBS]

Hørte en pussig en, på FK fotball på vei hjem fra spellejobb på bøggda for et par uker siden.  En manager som måtte vurdere stillingen sin fordi laget hans "hadde hatt ni tap på rad uten en eneste seier..."

[kjelvi]

"I have mostly been eating chicken wings. I only stick to things I can spell" (Boo Weekley)

BBC; Quotes of the Year
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/chrischarles/2009/12/quotes_of_the_year_2009.html